Weddings

These notes are offered to answer some of the common queries about weddings.
If anything is not clear, please contact Mark, Ben or Val, whose contact details are below.
Our prayers and good wishes are with you as you plan for your wedding day and begin your married life.

Entitlement to be married in our churches

You are entitled to be married in any of the churches in Merstham and Gatton if:

either of you has ever lived in the parish for a period of at least six months, or
either of you was baptised in the parish, or
either of you was prepared for confirmation in the parish, or
either of you has ever regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least six months, or
one of your parents, at any time after you were born, has lived in the parish for a period of at least six months, or
one of your parents, at any time after you were born, has regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least six months, or
one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish.

And did you know that if you move house, you’re immediately connected to the church there? That means you can marry in the church of your new parish. Even if you cannot demonstrate any of the above connections, we want to help you explore whether it may still be possible for you to marry in your special church.Talk to any of our clergy well in advance to discuss the options open to you. If you are under 18 years old you will need your parents’ consent to marry and by law you cannot be married in the UK until you are 16.

Time of your wedding

To be legal the wedding must take place between 8.00 a.m. and 6.00 p.m. on any day, subject to other services in church. We usually allow a minimum of 1½ hours between weddings.

Banns

Your Banns will be called at the church where your wedding is to be held two months before your wedding, usually on the first three Sundays of the month. Legally you are not required to be at the reading of Banns but most couples like to be there to hear them read. If one or both of you live in another parish you will have to contact the clergy of the parish where you live and arrange for the Banns to be read there too. We suggest you contact them at least three months before your wedding. They will then issue a certificate, which you must give to the person taking your wedding. There is a statutory charge for reading the Banns and issuing the certificate.

Licence

No licence is needed if Banns are called, but there are some circumstances in which you may need a Special Licence, Common Licence or a Superintendent Registrar’s Certificate to marry in church. The clergy will let you know if these apply to you.

Form of Service

We normally use the popular wedding service found in Common Worship. The clergy will arrange to meet you about three or four months before your wedding date, when choices about forms of vows, prayers, readings and hymns can be made. If you are having an order of service printed, please do not do so until after this meeting.

Music

We shall need to know which bridal and wedding marches you would like, and any requests for special music. It is advisable to choose hymns with well known tunes. As soon as you have a firm arrangement for your wedding, please also make an appointment to discuss your music requirements.

Service sheets

If you intend to have a service sheet printed, it is essential to let us see the draft copy before you go to print. There are one or two short parts of the service that it is helpful to include. Please remember to allow extra copies for the organist.

Bells (St Katharine’s only)

If you would like to have the bells rung at your wedding, please contact Gill Buchanan on 01737 642588 or gillbuchanan@btintnernet.com.

Marriage Preparation

A Marriage Preparation morning will normally be arranged a few months before your wedding. Details will be circulated to you and we hope both of you will be able to attend. It is a good opportunity to meet the clergy and other people getting married during the year. Individual clergy will also meet with you on at least two occasions before your wedding day: the first is for general preparation and the second will be for a rehearsal which usually takes place on a weekday evening a few days before the wedding.

Flowers

If your service is at St Andrew’s you will have to organise any flower arrangements that you wish to have. We can arrange access to the church for you, generally on the day before your wedding.
If your service is at St Katharine’s you can either organise your own flowers or have whatever flowers are in the church for the Sunday service. If you have your own arrangements, we ask that you leave at least one pedestal for use on the Sunday morning. Please contact Carol Gillett (01737 643751), who organises the flower rota, to discuss with her.

Confetti

Please tell anyone that if they are planning on throwing confetti it must be biodegradable and must only be thrown as you are going out of the lychgate to your car. If it is thrown in the churchyard it is very difficult for us to clear up.

Car parking and toilet (St Katharine’s)

Car parking is available in Church Hill at no charge, but we do advise people not to leave valuables or wedding gifts visible, as there have been thefts from parked cars at weddings. There are two ‘disabled’ parking bay in Church Hill. If anyone needs wheelchair access to the church, please let one of your ushers know so that they can inform us and we can open the West door.
There is a toilet in St Katharine’s Church Hall, which will be unlocked.

Car parking and toilet (St Andrew’s)

Car parking outside the church. There is no toilet at St Andrew’s.

Photographs and video

Photographs are not allowed in church during the service, other than by an official photographer, but they are permitted during the signing of the registers and as the bride and groom are coming back down the aisle after the service. If you wish to video the service you must discuss this, in advance, with the clergy taking your service. Please note that the organist’s and other fees will be doubled for a video and careful attention should be given to copyright laws.

Ushers, bridesmaids and attendants

It is helpful to have at least two ushers to show people to their seats and give service sheets and hymnbooks (if necessary) to your guests. Ushers should be at church in good time on the day of the wedding and should know what they are required to do! Please think very carefully if you are intending to have very small children as bridesmaids and attendants; you can never predict how they will cope with such occasions.